Memorial Comments

Thank you, J, for submitting these beautiful words.

“Margarita and I have nurtured a friendship for over 20 years as we watched our daughters mature, spread their wings and become adults. Margarita once said that her daughters were her legacy to the world and she took their development seriously, providing them with many opportunities to blossom. Nicole said, “ I grew up in a home of imagination. No idea was too silly. No dream was too big. Whether we were five foot, or shorter, we were still tall enough to reach for the stars.”

Marllette said that her mother gave her sisters the gift of music but taught her to always dance to it! But all the girls – really all the family – loved to dance and it was tempting to just sit and watch in wonder. But Margarita would never let me sit and insisted that I always join in.

She taught me to love to dance and just enjoy the wonder of music. But unlike me, she was amazing when she danced.

Much of what I learned from Margarita was the importance of celebration and she orchestrated celebrations for every reason – and for no reason. For her, celebrations were one of the important things that bound her family together. I remember parties with all the silver, crystal, china, gourmet food, brother Miguel’s assembled music CDs for the event, evening gowns, and fun, fun, fun until the dawn hours. And always lots of dancing among the four generations of this family!

At Nicole and Chris’s wedding reception I sat briefly in a corner talking to a very pensive Travis, Lissette’s husband. We were watching the celebration from the next room and he said, “I wonder when it is our generation’s turn to do these celebrations, how much will we be able to continue? How will we manage to do it?” I’m sure that the younger generation will step up to the plate helping Max to hold this wonderful family together. Annette commented to me that each one of them knew how to do a piece of all their mother did so if they hang in there together they will be able to continue on, with Margarita’s flying spirit in their midst.

Margarita loved poetry. A few years ago, she was about to have back surgery. She sent me one of her favorite poems and together we worked on a translation of it into English. Before surgery, she asked if I had gotten the final editing done on the translation and I said yes. It was obviously important to her that I have it. I think that she didn’t want to scare her family about the possibility of her not surviving surgery, but she wanted me to safe-keep it just in case you all needed its comfort. I have held it for you all these years although I think she has shared it with you since then. It expresses her spirit so much. Max commented that it was so much a part of her philosophy and that it opens a window to her essence. Her signature byline in her correspondence has a quote from this poem, that “we are the architects of our own destiny.”

The poem is:

AT PEACE by Amado Nervo

Very near to my sundown,
I BLESS you life,
because you have never given me
either failing hope or undeserved sorrow.
Because I see at the end of my harsh road
that I WAS the architect of my own destiny
and if I extracted the bile or the honey of things
it was because I filled them with bile or delicious honeys.
True, to my youthfulness, winter WILL follow,
but you NEVER told me that May was eternal.
I found without doubt, long my painful nights,
but in return I DID have some, blissfully serene.
I did love, I was loved,
the sun my face caressed.
Life, you owe me nothing.
Life, we are at peace.

And so to all of us, I wish that peace that Margarita found, and that we may be able to connect with her in pure spirit.

L and A and I offer our love to all the family. Thank you.”


For others who spoke, or would like to share words, see this blog as your “lock box” or dreams, words, love to send to her through the airwaves of time.

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